Dealing with Unpredictable People
What is it about people, who are unpredictable, that make them so difficult to get to know and like? One thing: if they are unpredictable, you can’t trust them.
If someone behaves unpredictably, it’s very hard to trust them. If you’re not secure in knowing at least a bit about how they typically act and react, it gives you absolutely nothing to be able to rely on. And while unpredictability as a personality trait seems undesirable, scholars believe that humans are simply unpredictable by nature.
Consider the Benefits
Some people believe that unpredictability is romantic and mysterious, and there certainly are benefits to certain types of unpredictability. When it comes in the form of a surprise vacation, or coming home from a business trip to find your kitchen remodeled, you’re probably glad that you weren’t able to predict these things. These are just a couple of examples of how unpredictability can be a good thing.
Unpredictability can be the key that keeps love and excitement in a long-term relationship. You feel happy when you can surprise your spouse or partner, even though you’ve been together five – or twenty-five – years! This is one of the positive benefits of unpredictability.
They Don’t Listen
The problem is that unpredictable people will rarely listen to reason or rational explanations. They somehow feel a deep need to keep others at arm’s length, and one of the ways they can control a relationship or situation is to always leave people guessing. They can’t see that this is actually a negative trait, most likely because it’s what they’ve done to survive in the past, so it feels very natural to them.
Don’t Rely on Them
If you have an unpredictable person in your life, learn that you can’t rely on what they say they’ll do. They may follow through, or they may not. Their plans might change at the last minute, and they will see nothing wrong with that, even if it affects others. You’ll need to set boundaries and limits with someone who is unpredictable to prevent yourself from constantly getting the short end of the stick with them. And be prepared to distance yourself if the unpredictability becomes something that affects your everyday life.
